So Close
by peppernator0817
Summary: Hermione and the group return to Hogwarts Hermione and Draco are Head Boy/Girl, Ron's gone, Harry's in Auror training and she feels so alone. When comfort and friendship comes from someone she once thought she hated, when the pain starts to ease because of a smile, because someone was there to help her find herself once more. How will she react to her heart beating again
1. Chapter 1

**This story might look familiar to some of you, its because I had to take it down, and I changed my name due to my stalker ex husband.**

**A/N: This is my NaNoWriMo story. For the most part it will be un-beta'd for now, so please foegive any errors that you might find. I do not know how often i will be updating as I will be working on the story a great deal, but I wanted to post the first chapter since i am done with it. Please read and Review and let me know what you think, it will seriously encourage me like Crazy! Love you all!**

**Disclaimer: I own NOTHING! Well except the plot and Lindsay McAdams. **

**Chapter 1: The Lonely**

As the morning dawned bright and clear over London, the bustle of day began simply as it usually did. People moving back and forth, through the streets, from time to time a car would honk in anger. People would wave from time to time to those they knew, as friends met up with friends for their morning rituals. Throughout all of this, no one noticed her. A lone figure, in tattered and torn clothing, her sad and empty expression setting her apart from the jubilation of the morning, as she entered the tall building no one noticed the tears that fell freely.

Walking into Kings Cross Station Hermione Grainger kept her head down. After pushing her way through the crowds and loading her items on a cart she made her way onto the platform and after avoiding almost everyone she made her way into an empty compartment. The small bag she had with her contained the majority of her essential belongings for the moment. Her robes, a few books for the train ride, and pictures of her parents as well as a picture that she had taken with Ron and Harry in their fifth year, most importantly it held a note that Ronald had given her, telling her of his love, and instructing her to not open it until AFTER the battle.

No one, especially Hermione, could have guessed that McNair would hit him with the curse, no one could have known that Ron would fall, and no one understood the heartbreak that she felt since seeing Ron's lifeless form in the courtyard. He had died protecting her, he had given his life to keep her and the others alive. No, no one could understand, but how could they. Few people knew what had transpired between the trio when they were hunting horcrux's, even less truly cared.

Hogwarts had been rebuilt during the summer, people had begun rebuilding their lives, but Hermione had nothing left to rebuild. Since wiping her parents memory she had no real home to go to, Ron was gone and Harry was busy with all of his "Savior of the Wizarding World" crap. She had even begun to find Ginny taxing. Even though she loved the girl dearly, she no longer had the patience to list to the younger girl prattle on and on about the newest style for her hair or anything. She found herself to be cold, even more so than she normally could be. She had shut down completely.

As the train began to pull out from the station and the rest of the students began to file in Hermione did her duty as Head Girl and patrolled the corridors, looking for any trouble or anything that might be questionable. Finding nothing she made her way to the compartment that she would share with the Head Boy, and imagine her surprise when none other than Draco bloody Malfoy sat with his legs crossed reading a Witch Weekly.

Sighing loudly she shut the door behind her and sat facing the window, doing the best she could to ignore him. Which she found even harder to do when she realized that no longer was he reading his magazine, in fact, he had taken to staring at Hermione. Nearly shaking in her agitation and bad mood she turned and pulled her wand, pointing it directly at him. Her lip twitched, and she felt her eyes burn as she thought about the Pureblood family that she knew so well that were mourning for their children.

"It should have been you that died and not Ronald!" she seethed. " A pureblood family mourns for their son because he fought for what he believed in! You and your family are nothing but cowards Malfoy, you ran! You ran as I had to watch the ones I love die around me!" She crumpled at that moment, nearly falling to the floor in a sobbing mess. All of the unshed tears and unspoken feelings hitting her at once as she fought to speak once more, "It should have been you."

Malfoy had already pushed himself to his feet and was sneering down at her, looking very much like their former Potions Master, but he didn't speak at first. She had expected a smart retort, or an insult but nothing came from him still. No longer sobbing she looked up at Draco who was no longer standing over her but was sitting down and reading his magazine once more. He just raised an eyebrow and turned his head to the side.

"Don't just assume Granger that you are the only one going through pain. You lost your boyfriend, but what did I loose, who did I loose. I lost more family in this than you did, and while they might have been insane or inherently evil they were still my family and I am left alone to help my mother greave while my father rots in Azkaban." He adjusted his collar just a bit and looked at his watch, which he had pulled from his pocket. "It's my turn for patrol," he rose quickly and walked past her to the door but stopped just as he touched the door. "You aren't the only one who hurts. Some just choose to not let ourselves be completely consumed by our grief." With that he left, shutting the door quietly behind him, and leaving a very befuddled Hermione Granger sitting in the floor.

Hermione had changed and left the compartment before Draco had a chance to return. She didn't think she could handle another tirade by him, and was oh so thrilled about his being Head Boy; mainly because it meant that he and Hermione would be sharing joint quarters. Propriety of course being enforced the only joint part was the sitting area and living room downstairs. She had of course read about it multiple times, in Hogwarts: A History.

Maybe the rebuild would have changed that fact. Perhaps things were different now that the school had been rebuilt in such a large part; she could only hope. As she walked through the train she peeked into each compartment, smiling when she saw Ginny. Opening the door she leaned happy to see the ginger witch and the blonde that sat across from her.

" Ginny, Luna. How are you?" She said, but made no move to come further into the compartment, instead lingers, a hand on the door, praying silently that neither would bring up Ronald.

Ginny smiled brilliantly at Hermione, before winking at Luna. "Oh, we're good. Talking about our boyfriends, did you hear that Neville asked her out over the summer? Seems that they are quite the item. Mum wanted me to invite you for Christmas this year, but since you let my brother die, none of us thought it would be appropriate since you aren't family." Her voice was snide, almost a sneer but quite unlike her.

Hermione let out a sob and backed out of the compartment, doing her best to not run away. She might have been beaten by Ginny's words but she wouldn't give her the satisfaction of her pain like that. She held her hand over her mouth and went into the small bathroom at the end of the car and after slamming the door she cried; no, she sobbed. Hermione sobbed until her throat felt raw, her eyes hurt and her face felt tight. She didn't want to leave the sweet haven that her escape had given her; she didn't want to give Ginny the satisfaction of seeing her upset. Letting out a long cool breath Hermione checked her reflection and cast a refreshing spell the get rid of the red and the tears before she headed out to finish her rounds.

The train arrived without incident, and the students, including a very perturbed head girl and an annoyed Head boy. The students were ushered in, and the feast completed now came the hard part; Hermione and Draco had to go to the semi joint quarters. Hermione walked slowly behind Draco, who was beside Headmistress McGonagall, Hermione held her hands behind her back, her face an emotionless mask.

When they reached the Gargoyle on the third floor Hermione lit up. "Of course! I don't know why I never thought of the quarters being here! There aren't many classrooms on this floor, and there is most definitely the room for it. Hogwarts: a History never actually stated where the rooms were, but this is actually a great place for them!" She said nearly bouncing with glee, it was short lived however when Draco turned around and looked her in the face.

"If you knew anything about Hogwarts Granger, you would know that its basically a sentient being, and they rooms are moved each year to be in the middle between the two houses of the Head Boy and Head Girl. Seeing as I'm a Slytherin and you are a Gryffindor, this is the closet to the middle as Hogwarts could get. " He looked to McGonagall for acknowledgement that he was right and while she never said anything to state that he was correct it was enough to anger Hermione. "Maybe you should read the newest edition of your book there Granger, it has a lot of new information."

Hermione tensed her jaw but said nothing, which gave McGonagall the opening she needed. "The Password is simple; Candy Flubberworms. I trust that you and Mister Malfoy can act like civilized adults and be able to respect each other enough to work together?" Not waiting for a response she continued. "You have an hour to get settled before we need you in the great hall for the meeting with the prefects and professors, I suggest you use the time well and possible discuss a patrolling schedule?" She looked down at them over the edge of her glasses.

Neither student said anything they just nodded before saying the password and entering one at a time, Draco being a _gentlemen _allowed Hermione to go through first. As she entered she gasped at the sight before her. The sitting room was filled with shelves of books that went quite literally from floor to ceiling, wall to wall. The room its self was full of dark colours, the bookshelves were a dark red oak, the normal stone floor had been covered in a thick black carpeting that made Hermione want to take off her shoes and feel its lushness between her toes . A fire fought the cool dampness of the castle and made the room warm, it cast shadows and flicked light through the dark room. Chairs and couches were spread about the room, as well as two desks, one on either side of the room. and just off to the side of each desk was a door.

"Hermione your rooms are off to the right, just there." She pointed to the desk next to the window that looked off towards out over the lake. "Draco yours is there." She pointed to the other desk which was near the window that over looked the quidditch pitch. Each of them was pleased with this and had nothing bad to say. Hermione's desk was a light oak, whimsical in its design; the chair with it was plush and comfortable with just enough room for her to be able to tuck her legs under her like she liked.

Draco's desk was a walnut, the edges looked gnarled and burnt, with snakes and other beasts carved into the sides and in the matching chair as well it. It fit him perfectly. He ran a hand along the edge of the desk, through its cracks and crevices, a smirk on his face he turned to McGonagall. "It will do. I would hate to have to tell my father about less than…. Worthy furnishings." Of course Hermione rolled her eyes and sighed. "I didn't mean for myself Granger." He nodded at the Headmistress and disappeared into his rooms.

Hermione in her chair and looked out over the lake for a long time, her chin on her knees, thinking about her life and what she was meant for. She had never been seen for herself. She was the smart one, the brain, the study buddy, the one who got them out of trouble most of the time, hell even the girlfriend; but never, never had anyone ever taken the time to see the lost little girl inside, no one ever saw how badly she needed to be rescued, no one saw how badly she needed a hero.

After a while Draco emerged but didn't say anything he watched her as she cried, tears falling silently but eventually he cleared his throat. "Granger, it's time for the meeting in the Great Hall." No snide remarks came from her, no flash of anger; instead she stood nodding slowly, whipping her tears on the sleeve of her robe.

"Let's get this over with Malfoy." She said in a tiny voice as she pushed past him and out into the corridor.

The meeting seemed to drag on and on for Hermione, all she wanted was to go to her rooms, to her bed, and cry herself to sleep. Her depression seemed to be growing and she had no way out. The Sixth year Ravenclaw girl who sat beside Hermione was seriously on her last nerve. Her name was Lindsay McAdams, she was a petit little Scottish thing who was bouncing with joy and asking Hermione tons of questions. Finally she gave in and started talking to the girl, and although she was unwilling to admit to it she did make her feel a good bit better, by the time the meeting had let out Hermione had actually smiled, twice!

As the prefects, professors, and Draco went off to do their patrols Hermione headed to the Astronomy tower, she had the urge to fly, but this urge had nothing to do with a broom.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: ****Ok so here is chapter 2 finally. Thanks to a good bought of stress and getting sick I decided to not do NaNoWriMo this year. Do not fear, I am going to continue my story, but thanks to complications that have arisen as of late, I might not be able to post as much as I want to. However , whether or not I can physically post, I shall be working on the story still so I will most likely be posting multiple chapters at once and of more than one story. I hope that you like it, and please review! It makes me want to write so much more knowing that people are enjoying the story, and any I am always grateful for input :D Love you guys! **

**Disclaimer: Alas, I do not own anything other than the wickedly twisted plot I have instore, Lindsay McAdams, and Professor Gregory. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 2: Crying Ain't Dying**

As curfew passed and the night grew later Hermione never returned to the dorm. She sat in the astronomy tower, her legs hanging over the edge of a window' contemplating the fall. Knowing quite well that at any moment someone could walk in a fond her, somehow could stop her, and she needed to end this pain. A cool breeze blew her hair, and she closed her eyes to it, remembering the touch of his hand on her face, the feel of skin on skin.

_I can't do this anymore, I can't handle this pain. Ronald, I'm coming, hold on love, I'm coming. _ She didn't stand; instead she just scooted her bottom to the edge of the stone and looked behind her. The door had opened and someone was stepping through, and just as the last bit of her was inching off did she see the shocked face of Draco Malfoy her wand lying on the cool stone still as she freely fell.

As she fell, Hermione truly let go, her body turned so she horizontal with the ground, she fell faster and faster, and got closer to the ground in front of her, release ever so close. She didn't hear the pop, all she felt were the arms around her waist and the obvious feeling of apparition.

Hermione Jean Granger let out a scream, one of not frustration but fury. She had almost dine it so very close, was she, to the release that she craved so very very much. As Hermione and Draco landed back in the Astronomy Tower Hermione shifted herself and began to strike at Draco.

"You couldn't just let me go could you? You couldn't just let me die could you? No you couldn't, you're just a selfish bastard just like you were before…" Her words stopped, as the tears began to fall and she turned away to whisper. "Before you broke me."

Draco walked the few steps between them and placed his hands on her shoulders, turning her to him he pulled her into his arms, into a warm embrace. "You know why I did what I had to do dearest, it's not because my regard for you had ever faltered, because it never shall, there was a war to be fought; I had my duties to my family, and you to your friends. We talked about this, before it all even happened, Hermione." He leaned and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead.

Hermione pushed him away and cried harder. "Don't you dare act like you even gave a damn about me! I told you about my feelings and you pushed me away from you, and then you were gone. I was alone with Ron and Harry looking for Horcrux's fighting this war, your _master _, while you were here in school. Yet, here you stand, still the high and mighty Malfoy. After everything we have had, all the feelings between us, how can you still be so cold, so heartless?"

Draco turned, moving away from her, a look of hurt on his face, for just a moment, before the mask came back down. "Yes, that's right. I am, I am the heartless bastard that cares for no one and nothing. I'm just the one who saved your life and was stupid enough to be the only one who seems to even give a damn about you!" He ran a hand though his now shorter hair, but it was still parted to the side, although not slicked down, giving him an `I don't care' look. "

"Hermione after all we had, the feelings I had for you, and you really think that I would let you end it like that? You may not care for me anymore but I refuse to just forget everything we had. The Yule Ball, all those nights we had in Room of requirement, and so quickly you forget Hermione, I saved you from my Aunt. I didn't let her kill you like she wanted to. Gods Hermione, I-I.." Then he was gone, he didn't finish his tirade, he didn't yell anymore, he didn't scream anymore, he was just gone and Hermione crumpled once again.

He was right, they had had something, but he had ended it before they had even had a chance. Everyone had thought that she and Ron had been so close to a relationship then, but that's not how their relationship was. Ronald was her best friend, he knew all of her secrets, Ronald had been all that had stood between Hermione and death on multiple occasions, and the thing that hurt the most is the secret that they had both carried, but one that she could never bring herself to regret.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxo

Hermione stayed on the floor of the Astronomy tower and sat there, she had no more tears to cry, nothing more to say or do; instead she sat inside herself, her arms wrapped around her knees as thought of the past. Things between them had begun simply, in detention, during their Fourth year. It had been another spat of theirs in Potions, but this one had resulted in a cauldron exploding. As a result Professor Snape had made them clean potion from the shelves, desks, and other things that had been coated in the gelatinous goo.

Draco and Hermione had argued, fought, and fussed until Hermione had found herself pressed against a wall in Draco's arms. Their hot and steamy kisses had been the beginning of a whirlwind romance that had surprised them both, but neither of them ended it, instead they kept it a secret. Hermione would say that she was going to go meet Viktor, or that she was going to the Library, Draco would make some excuse for his friends, but he could do as he pleased truly; he was after all, a Malfoy. They would meet in the room of requirement in a flurry of clothes and kisses, ending only when they both lay sated and happy.

Hermione had fallen blatantly, blindly for Draco, and they had kept it a secret, ensuring not only her safety and reputation but his as well. Their banter became a sort of sport, with both of them hiding their laughter as they fought. In their fifth year when Hermione was injured she received few visitors in the hospital wing, Harry and Ron were the most common that she saw of course. Draco would never visit her, but each morning when she awoke, a note would be under her pillow and the memory of a soft kiss on her forehead would remain.

Draco loved her, well he had, she knew that much because he had confessed it to her the night that he crashed Slughorn's party, but it had been their ending as well. He said that he had to protect her, that she would only be in more danger if it was ever found out that they were tied. With bitter tears and anger, she called him a prat, stating that he could never love anything more than himself and that he was embarrassed that she reciprocated his feelings. All of it had been a mistake, well that's what she told herself when she cried at night; that her tears were not for the empty feeling that possessed her, no, they couldn't be, they were for the regret of what she had done.

Then Ronald was put in the Hospital wing for his poisoning, and everything with Lavender happened. Everyone assumed that she and Ron were now dating, the worst part was when Ronald told her he loved her, she didn't have the heart to tell him no. How could she tell him that she loved Draco Malfoy? How could she tell one of her best friends that she loved someone who had made their life a living hell for so long?

It wasn't until after Dumbledore's death, until after Bill and Fleur's wedding that Hermione had told them both, until the three of them were gone and on their own that she confessed it all. She had broken down one night when Ron had tried to make a move on her and confessed to him that she wasn't a virgin, and of course, in a fit of anger he had assumed it was Harry and left. Harry had walked off on his own in his own anger leaving Hermione alone in the tent. She had never hated herself so much, but then something wonderful had happened.

They both came back, they weren't mad at her, they were mad at themselves for not being able to see it, and they forgave her. It was the end of Hermione and Ron of course, but it brought them closer in the end. The rest of the war seemed like blur for Hermione, her capture and torture and rescue by Draco. The break in of Gringotts, and the final battle where Ronald had fallen; no one had expected any of it to happen, let alone Hermione. There were often times where she hated Ronald for his sacrifice, times where she hated Draco for saving her. She had needed something, someone to pull her out of it, and right maybe this was just what she needed.

Finally, Hermione stood, and walked slowly through the school, it was almost half past three when she reached her room again and saw Draco huddled on the couch. He still cared for her and had waited up for her, she smiled a little and walked soundlessly into her room, her warm bed calling to her. No need for a dreamless sleep potion this night, she fell straight to sleep, dreaming only of running after white blonde hair, and grey eyes.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

"Granger! Granger! Wake the bloody hell up!" Hermione sat up at the voice calling to her, someone was pounding on her door, it was Draco. "Hermione get up, we are going to be late for breakfast!" He yelled at her through the wood of the door before a loud bang sounded and her door flew open. Draco seemingly floated into the room, the Slytherin green still striking against the black. "I have been beating at your door for almost twenty bloody minutes, now get your arse out of that bed and let's go before we are late!" He said before leaving the room slamming the door behind him.

"Twit." Hermione muttered beneath her breath but still she climbed from the bed and went into her private bathroom. She had no time for a long hot bath, so she opted for a short but scalding shower, washing the important parts and getting out. Her hair she treated with a potion she had discovered over the summer. It tamed her wild curls and made them silky and smooth. Her hair was almost to her backside by now and she loved the length, putting it into a side plait she let the long brown hair fall over her shoulder and pulled on her Gryffindor robes. Finished getting ready, she grabbed her black and red outer robe and threw it on, running out the portrait just as Draco exited.

"What is your problem?!" She asked Draco once she had finally caught up with him.

"I don't have an issue Granger, obviously, it is you who has one. Or did you fail to remember that we have to sign up for our classes today. They added a few new classes which are available for us to take instead of just the same things. I had _planned _on waking up early and signing up for the classes I want; but seeing as you took forever to get up, I most likely will not get them." He said no more, storming off through the halls leaving Hermione to walk slowly through the halls numbly.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

"Miss Granger, I am afraid that due to the lateness of your arrival that there was only one class left to sign up for, so it is already on your timetable. It is taught by our new Muggle Studies Professor, whom you have already become acquainted with."

"Yes, that's Professor Ingrid Gregory, correct?" Hermione asked softly, doing her best to disguise any sign that something might be wrong in her voice.

Minerva nodded softly before raising an eyebrow at the former star pupil. "Yes, you are correct. Very few students have signed up for her classes and I believe that according to you timetables you are one of the few to get one on one class with her. I know not of what you will exactly be doing though. She tends to keep it quite secret, al she tells me and the board is that her lessons will work with the students inner hidden talents. Well, away with you now, we both had duties and our breakfasts are waiting." She patted Hermione on the shoulder softly and walked past her to the Head table.

Looking down at the parchment in her hand Hermione sighed; her lessons with Professor Gregory were her first lesson and they started soon, although they weren't the full class times Hermione knew she would find ample things to do in her free period. Moving to the Gryffindor table Hermione sat a few seats from Ginny, Lavender, and the Patil sisters. They watched her but neither of them said anything or waved, Hermione never made eye contact with them, but as she ate Hermione could feel their eyes on her, hear their whispers and then sudden loud laughter. It didn't take a genius to figure out what was going on, but rather than say anything to them Hermione ate in secluded silence, reading over her time table.

She stared at the parchment as if it would change things, as if her classes would suddenly change because she willed it to. She had her class with Professor Gregory first, and after almost two free periods she had Potions, Charms, Transfiguration, Herbology, Magical creatures, and History of Magic. The classes of course changed every day, as they always had. In reality, this looked as if it would be one of her easier years, although all of her classes were NEWT level, there was no doubt in her mind that she could handle it.

Finishing off her last bit of toast and juice Hermione stood slowly, gathered her things, and made her way to the fifth floor classroom that seemed suddenly so ominous.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Finally finished chapter three and I can breathe a sigh of relief. Its a bit longer than the rest of the chapters, and has a good bit of mildly plotty filler, but it was needed I assure you fro some of this will be coming into play later on. Please read and review!**

**Chapter 3: We Never Change**

Professor Ingrid Gregory sat at the piano and picked at the keys softly, a soft and harmonious melody floated through the air, the notes dancing along the air, the portraits and the skin of Hermione Granger. Her eyes were closed and her voice was raised in song, this was by far one of the most difficult classes that she had ever taken. Not only had she been challenged to sing in front of someone, but she was being taught musical theory and scale, how to sing harmony and melody to herself, and the hardest part, to write a song to someone.

The lessons to this point had been hard enough, but the song had been the toughest part; mainly because she had been able to write nothing but sadness until a very long talk with Professor Gregory. The tall violet eyed blonde had been very understanding, listening nodding and quite a few times even hugging Hermione while she cried. She had divulged every single thing about her relationship with Draco, starting from the beginning and moving through the bitterness to the suicidal incident.

_Are you that stupid Hermione?! Honestly, you should know that it isn't an option for a bright witch like you, there help out there and I have the feeling that this class will be just what you need! _

Hermione smiled to herself as she sang, the woman was becoming very much a mentor to Hermione in the three weeks that she had been in the class. Finishing the song Professor Gregory grinned at Hermione and embellished the ending before standing and bowing to an invisible audience, which made Hermione giggle.

"Your mood seems to have improved a great deal in the past few weeks Hermione that makes me quite pleased. It seems that you have found a release at last for your feelings, although as a woman who has had her issues with love, I only wish you would have found it sooner. We have finished for the day, but I still need your song that you have been working on by the end of the day. I'm not rushing you because I know it takes time, but you are the last student to turn it in. If I am to work on the music for it, I will need the lyrics soon. Halloween is coming soon and while you have the different ones that you show me I need the final version."

Hermione nodded softly and tucked a stray curl back from her face, Professor Gregory smiled and pointed her wand to the door and it swung slowly open. Grabbing her things Hermione walked to the door before stopping and looking back at the woman. "I have an idea that I have been battling with a little, I had planned on playing with it some after my Charms exam. When I finish should I bring it by your classroom or should I just drop it by your office?"

Ingrid stopped for a moment and tapped her lips. "I might have a student; a few have scheduled extra classes in some of my free periods. If you finish, bring it by and we can go over it when I finish with them. They shouldn't mind, If they are practicing though just come in and have a seat. I don't want to interrupt them." She smiled softly at Hermione and turned back to gathering her papers from the piano, sighing softly Hermione left the room and made her way to Black Lake.

It seemed that the Black Lake was the only place as of late that she was able to relax, she had found a little haven just around the bend of the lake. There was a large rock that had a shelf that Hermione used almost as a desk. Her parchment, ink and quills would be spread across it in some great mass. It had enough cover from the trees to be sunny just at the right part of the day, it was her escape, her haven, and she felt that she belonged there more than she did anywhere else at the moment.

Sitting down in front of the large stone Hermione pulled out her music sheets and sighed. She didn't know what to write, she had filled a notebook with words, but nothing had seemed to work. All of her emotions still felt muddled, she still felt so alone and she didn't know what to do, the consuming almost constant pain had faded; in its place was numb feeling that she was grateful for. Biting her lip Hermione thought of Draco and pulled out a quill and began to write.

Hermione's remaining classes had come and gone, and unfortunately she was not able to take her finished project to Professor Gregory after her exam, as she had been called away to the sixth floor corridor to assist in breaking up a clash between a few Slytherin fifth years who had been picking on a third year Ravenclaw. Much to the Hermione's dismay, when she arrived, the younger boy had the Slytherins hanging by their underwear from extinguished torches. At first she fought the urge to laugh, covering her mouth with her hand, biting her lip and stifling the laugh gently, after a moment she recovered her faculties, shaking her head she knew she would have to wait for a professor to come and assist, thinking that this would have been a great time for the galleons that they used in her forth year for the DA.

Sighing softly Hermione summoned her Patronus, rolling her eyes at the laughter of the Ravenclaw boy; the silver animal ran across the corridor, around the corner and was gone. Letting out an audible groan Hermione turned to look at both all the boys, speaking to the third year boy first.

"I don't know your name, and while your spell was impressive for one in your year you will have to be punished for this I hope you are aware. You will serve three days detention with Mr. Filch and fifty points will be taken from Ravenclaw for this. I am curious though, what spell did you use?"

The young boy blushed heavily and looked at his shoes. "it was just a simple levitation spell, Miss." He looked up at her shyly.

"Did you put them up there all at one time or individually?" She asked curiously.

"It was all at one time, but I didn't mean to do it, they just made me so angry. I'm tired of being made fun of for being smart and they just pushed me over the edge. I couldn't help but laugh, but once they were up there I couldn't figure out how to get them down. I tried to levitate them down but I didn't want to be doing it when someone came along, and I couldn't leave them here alone, so I waited."

Hermione smiled kindly. "Well, it seems that you tapped into some power that you didn't know that you had didn't you-" She realized that she didn't know his name still. "What is your name?"

The boy sighed and lowered his head. "It's Benjamin Paul." He said blushing slightly. "I don't really have a last name; it sounds more like two first names." When the boy looked up his eyes seemed to be full of fire. "It's one of the things I get made fun of about."

Hermione turned to the still quiet Slytherin boys, her eyes full of anger. "How dare you bully him for being smart and for being different? Being a bully is nothing better than what we fought during the war. You are no better than-" Letting out a breath she collected herself and began again. "I fought a war to stop hatred against those who are different, and here you are, just a younger generation doing the exact same thing. You think you are so much better because you are rich, or you are a pureblood, or because you are Slytherin, but you aren't. You also will receive three days detention, but I think you can serve yours with Hagrid. Fifty pointy from Slytherin, for each of you, and If it happens again, I will make sure that Professor McGonagall sends a letter to each of your parents. Understood?"

Pointing her wand at the Slytherin boys she lowered them and got their names just as Professor McGonagall came around the corner.

"I see you have everything taken care of Miss Granger. Have you handed out the proper punishments?" She asked, her accent thick, more than likely with sleep than with anger.

Hermione nodded softly and quickly gave her a recap of the events and what she had been told. Professor McGonagall agreed with Hermione's punishments, took notes of their names and escorted the Ravenclaw boy away for a talk with Professor Flitwick, leaving Hermione to take the Slytherin boy's to Professor Slughorn's office.

It didn't take long to get to his office, but of course the wizard was not there. He was found, however, in the potion's lab; unfortunately for Hermione she saw him pocketing expensive potion's ingredients. This meant, of course, that what Harry had told them during their sixth year was true, that Slughorn had indeed developed a need to steal ingredients. She made a mental note to inform the Headmistress but quickly went to doing her duties and left the boys with their Head of House.

By the time that Hermione was able to go back to Professor Gregory's class room it was almost sunset; the large orb that was the sun was almost fully hidden behind the Scottish mountains, it cast light across the Scottish skies. Deep blues, purples, reds even darker pinks were cast, making the clouds look like fields of cotton candy just ready to be picked.

Twilight was Hermione's favorite time of day, it was when people were settling down finally, the crazy hubbub of the day finally subsiding. Students were in their common rooms doing homework or in the Great Hall talking with friends and waiting for dinner to start.

Usually Hermione would find herself amongst those in the Great Hall, as it was part of her duties to patrol it, but tonight she found herself walking through the cool corridor that lead to Professor Gregory's class room. Hermione had finished her project, but didn't like what she had written, it was sad, no more than that, it was depressing. Hermione had taken her time after her Potion's class had let out early to have another go at it. Thanks to a Ginny sneezing, Luna had dropped a very large vial of Boomslang skin into the Cauldron, which filled the room with a noxious gas. The class had ended abruptly, and all classes were cancelled until Mr. Filch and Professor Slughorn were able to get it fixed.

So it was with her parchment in hand that Hermione knocked softly on the door to the classroom and opened it. She had heard the music from the other side of the door and assumed that Professor Gregory had been practicing her guitar, but as the door shut softly behind her, nothing could have prepared her for what she saw and her.

Draco Malfoy was sitting on a stool and strumming a rather handsome guitar, the melody of the music was calm and soothing, yet underneath there was a slight hint of heartbreaking emptiness. He didn't even notice that Hermione had walked into the room, in fact Draco didn't seem to notice anything around him at all, he was lost in the music, in the song, you could see it as he played.

Swiftly turning she reached for the handle of the door, but as a voice was raised in song her hand fell away, and she made her way robotically to a chair near the door as Draco began to sing.

_I wanna live life, never be cruel,  
I wanna live life, be good to you.  
I wanna fly, never come down,  
And live my life, And have friends around._

A hand went to her mouth as she sat there in shock, never in all of their years of friendship and, well other things, had Hermione known that Draco could sing, nor would she have expected such words to come from him. Thinking it best to not make too much commotion she sat there quietly and listened to the soft song.

_So I wanna live in a wooden house,  
Making more friends would be easy.  
Oh and I don't have a show to say,  
_

_Yes, and I sin every single day,  
We never change, do we?  
We never learned to leave.  
_

_So, I wanna live in a wooden house,  
Making more friends would be easy,  
I wanna live where the sun comes out._

As he finished the song Professor Gregory began to clap softly, a joyful smile on her face, obviously proud of her Slytherin student.

"That was lovely Draco! Absolutely beautiful, though might I enquire if a young woman was the inspiration of the song?" The reply was lost to Hermione, for she had run from the room so quickly she never even noticed that she left the parchment that held the deepest feelings of her heart so nonchalantly, someone did though, and upon reading the words that the innocent parchment held, grey eyes so very much like the sky clouded over as it began to suddenly pour.

Draco did his best to avoid Hermione Granger for the next few weeks; her sudden and most certainly unbidden intrusion into his private lesson with Professor Gregory had shown her him at his most vulnerable. Since the fall of the Dark Lord the Malfoy family had been through more than their share of hardships, although the most painful had been his father's arrest and subsequent life sentence, Draco had been able to pull their name out of the mud a great deal. Thankfully the Malfoy name held some weight in wizarding society and Draco was able to make sure that his mother was squared away, and that the family fortune was not a complete loss.

They were no longer lavishly rich, in fact they were far from it, but they were comfortable. Malfoy Manor was a complete loss, but after having the Dark Lord in residence, Draco knew it would be best for him and his mother to be done with it. So it had been sold off in pieces and the money put in the bank. Draco's new goal was to make sure that his mother was taken care of, as well as reconnecting with his aunt Andromeda and his new cousin Teddy.

It was just a few days until Halloween now and Draco was doing his patrols through the second floor corridor, making his way to the third and his dorm. Hermione had seemed to make it her purpose to ignore him, ignoring him at meals as well, and only speaking to Draco at the prefect meetings. It wasn't that Draco really cared, it just bothered him that she who had once been so loving, so caring, so warm to him was such a cold hearted cruel bitch.

She was no longer the Hermione Granger that he had fallen in love with; she was a very different being all together. She was no forced to step fully from the shadow of Potter and Weasley, and while Weasley's sacrifice was honorable, it had left quite the visible hole in Hermione. One that she had yet to heal, and it had caused her to almost kill herself.

She seemed to be doing better, he mused to himself quietly as turned the corner nearest the joint room he shared with Hermione, but looks can be deceiving, for Draco could still hear her dreams at night, hear her calling out to Weasley, and it cut to the very heart of him.

He stopped and leaned against the wall shaking his head, he couldn't do this anymore, he had to get her out of his head, and out of his heart. He had ended things to protect her, and keep her from being just another Mudblood dead to cause that his father had fought for, he had done it because he loved her. Draco loved Hermione, he had for a long time, but how could he tell her that when his father was who he was? For years Draco had worn the mask dutifully to please his father, and keep his family safe and alive. He wouldn't endanger Hermione any more than she already was endangered just by being Harry Potter's friend.

Telling Hermione this had been so very hard for him to do, his heart broke the moment that the words came from his lips and he saw the hurt look on her face. He knew that she had crumbled, but in true Gryffindor style Hermione had lifted her chin, defying his want of things to go easily, told him that she was surprised that it had lasted that long and left the Three Broomsticks, her brown curls bouncing in the autumn wind.

She had most certainly made it clear that she no longer wanted any form of a relationship with him, not that Draco could blame her, in all honesty why would she? After how he had treated her, it had been he who had saved her life, stopping his aunt from torturing her further, but he himself still held the scars as a punishment from his father for doing so. His heart still beat for Hermione only but that path was no closed to him, Hermione would never love him again.

"She doesn't love me anymore, so it's best I move on." He whispered to absolutely no one before pushing himself away from the wall and into the joint commons. Striding through the sitting room he didn't speak to Hermione, and she didn't look up to acknowledge his presence in the room.

He sat at his desk, withdrew a quill, ink, and parchment and wrote a short note to Pansy Parkinson, asking her to go to the Halloween Ball with him. While it was short notice, Draco had heard that very morning that she has been dumped so close to the ball. It would be chance for her to make her now ex-boyfriend jealous, and give Draco a chance to try and get Hermione off of his mind.

**A/N: The song that Draco sings in this chapter is called We Never Change, and is sung by Coldplay. it can be found on Youtube. Also note that Draco does not sing like the singer, his voice is alot less raspy lol **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I would like to thank all of my readers. Be ye on AFF, AO3, or even for being patient with me. Updates should be coming much more regularly now that I am past my writers block. The song from this chapter is The Lonely by Christina Perri and can be found on Youtube, Pandora, and Spotify.**

**Please Read and Review. Reviews means so much to mean and make me want to write more that much more. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing nor do I claim to.**

The week of Halloween came and almost every single female was caught in the whirlwind that came when a ball was near, well every girl that was except for Hermione. She had been listening to the female Prefects giggle and fuss, discussing who they thought would have the best hairstyle or the best gowns, who was going with whom, hell even discussing if Harry, and Neville would be there.

Of course, as no shock to really anyone, Hermione had not been asked. She had made no plans to go, instead she had planned to stay in her dorm, and work on projects and study for her upcoming Charms NEWT exam. The Headmistress had suggested that she take a few of the exams early because she was taking so many NEWT classes, it would free up her time to study for others as well as to be able to do any independent study that she had the wish to do.

The Monday before the ball Headmistress McGonagall and Professor Vector called Hermione to the headmistress' office. It was during a free period that she now had thanks to no longer having to attend her Charms lessons. With a nervous stomach and a questionably heavy heart Hermione gave the password, and once the Gargoyle had jumped aside, she ascended the stairs, and entered the office. The door had been left open for her, but she knocked politely anyway before she entered anyhow.

"Oh, Hermione, you got here at the perfect time. Professor Vector and I were just discussing the ball. I saw on the ledger that you weren't going, or that no one had bought a ticket as your date; so you have been assigned the last remaining chaperone slot. I do hope you don't mind dear, but you will have to dress for the ball. It is a Masque this year so please, do dress appropriately."

Hermione's mouth opened and closed like that of a fish, she fought to find an argument against the headmistress but was unable to do so. After a few moments of staying silent Hermione sighed and walked over to the desk where the ledger lay, she signed her name in her neat and even signature and turned to face the older women.

"I will do as you ask Headmistress, but I have no money for a costume or a gown, so I will have to transfigure some of my older robes. That is unless you would be willing to help me," Hermione blushed heavily. "I would be willing to do work for the school; I know some work is needed to the Owlery as well greenhouses. I could always make time in my weekend and evening schedules." She shrugged slightly. "No one needs to study for a full weekend anyway."

Minerva smiled softly and shook her head gently. "No need to worry child, I wouldn't dream of asking one of the Golden Trio to do such a thing." She pulled a small pouch from her robes and handed them to Hermione. "Madam Malkin is expecting you, take my Floo it will lead you there. We will cover your Patrols and I will send messages to your classes and let them know you will not be there. I know you read a few days ahead generally. Your class work will be waiting on your desk when you return."

Without saying a word Hermione stepped through to the fire threw in her powder and was gone in a flash of green flames.

Madam Malkin's was alight when Hermione arrived, the store was empty except for the busy bustling woman who making herself busy behind the counter. Hermione approached slowly, her hands were wringing themselves, almost of their own volition.

"E-excuse me… I-I was sent by Professor McGonagall. She sent me to see about a masque costume..?" The last part of her sentence disappeared as the woman turned around and smiled at her. She recognized the face, but it was somehow different, younger but still different. Hermione tilted her head to the right allowing her unruly chestnut brown curls to fall to the side some.

Laughing a little the woman came around from behind the counter and looped her arm through Hermione's. "I am Madam Malkin's youngest daughter, I look the most like her, which is why you will think I look so much like her." Pulling Hermione along the woman stood her on the dais and withdrew her wand. "I was told that this is for a masque, keeping that in mind I have a few ideas, nothing too radical. I was given a description of your personality and what house you were in so I decided to go with what they gave me. I will show you a few ideas and we will work on the one that you like the most. Alight?" The woman's smoothed back brown hair had sprung loose from its holding, her round glasses gave her an odd expression in the eyes, but the crystal blue eyes showed Hermione kindness, after giving the woman a nod Hermione faced the mirror slowly.

Ms. Malkin pulled her wand from her robes and made a few elegant, but elaborate flourishes, and after a few adjustments was proud of what stood before her. Gone were Hermione's faded and bland school robes. She now stood in a floor length golden gown with black and red accent's, the top was a tightly synched corset that left nothing to the imagination, the rest of the gown clung to her in shimmering waves of fabric.

Hermione turned red in anger, then in mortification. "Excuse me, but whose description of me did you take?" She asked softly, not letting her emotions show in her voice.

Ms. Malkin looked up at Hermione, her wand tip was pensively tapping her lips. "Lavender Brown's, she was in here today, and was kind enough to describe you. Why, is there a problem dear?" She asked softly.

"Just a small one; I'm afraid that the account of my personality that was given to you was not true. " She motioned to the dress. "This is not something that I would wear, and it definitely does not fit my personality. I could never be this immodest; in fact I am quite the opposite. I believe that this was just another personal attack due to recent events, but if you would be patient enough I believe that we can fix this mess." Her teeth came out to bite her lip softly and the woman smiled broadly.

"Dearie, if you are having issues with someone, I believe I know just the gown that will put their knickers in a twist and set them into a jealous fire that will ignite their overdone hair."

Something told Hermione that this might not be so bad after all.

Hermione went to her Music Theory class the next day with a smile on her face. She was looking forward to the ball now, she knew she would have more than a few jaws dropping. Miss Malkin had also give her a tonic for her hair to help with the extremity that her had reached with its frizz, which she had thought about using in the shower before she went to breakfast, but she had slept so well that she had lingered in her bed just a little bit too long. It had left her with only ten minutes for a shower and time to eat before her class. So instead of letting the curls run wild, she wore it back in a simple side French braid, letting her long brown hair fall over her shoulder.

She pushed the thought of using it off and decided to go to the prefects' bathroom that night for a long hot soak. Professor Gregory had just opened the door to her classroom when Hermione reached it. She smiled at the professor, and stepped inside so she could shut the door. As always, Hermione placed her things on the table by the door and headed to the stool near the piano and other various musical instruments that were there. This time was different. Today Hermione held parchment in her hands.

"Professor I was wondering, I have been working more on my personal compositions like you asked me to do, and I have an Idea for a song. I even wrote the music to it, but I want to know what you think. I can sing it for you. I thought about it being one of my recital songs. It is a bit different from my other songs, a great bit darker actually than the other things I have written. "

Professor Gregory walked to Hermione and took the papers from Hermione's hand and looked it over, her eyes lingering over the lyrics more than the words. "I assume this was written more towards someone than just written?" She asked an eyebrow rose softly before she smiled. "Shall I play or shall you?"

Hermione smiled, took the papers from the older woman and sat on the piano bench. After a few moments of warming up her fingers Hermione was ready and Professor Gregory charmed the rest of the instruments to follow along with Hermione. The melody started softly, manly just the piano until Hermione's voice rose clear as bell to echo through the room.

Two am; where do I begin,  
Crying off my face again.  
The silent sound of loneliness  
Wants to follow me to bed.

I'm a ghost of a girl that I want to be most.  
I'm the shell of a girl that I used to know well.

Dancing slowly in an empty room,  
Can the lonely take the place of you?  
I sing myself a quiet lullaby.  
Let you go and let the lonely in  
To take my heart again.

Hermione played a small interlude, and worked on the wording a little bit on the next part, when she was pleased she began to play once more.

Too afraid to go inside  
For the pain of one more loveless night.  
But the loneliness will stay with me  
And hold me til I fall asleep.

I'm a ghost of a girl that I want to be most.  
I'm the shell of a girl that I used to know well.

Dancing slowly in an empty room,  
Can the lonely take the place of you?  
I sing myself a quiet lullaby.  
Let you go and let the lonely in  
To take my heart again.

Broken pieces of  
A barely breathing story  
Where there once was love  
Now there's only me and the lonely.

Dancing slowly in an empty room  
Can the lonely take the place of you?  
I sing myself a quiet lullaby  
Let you go and let the lonely in  
To take my heart again.

Hermione played with conviction, the hair on her whole body seemed to be standing on end all but her hair. She shivered as emotions ran through her that had needed to be released for so long, and were finally dissipating. Her hatred, her sadness, hell even her numbness had all faded until she barely noticed them all. The more she played and sang, the better she felt, the more she was able to let go of all that made her hate not only herself, but all of those around her; except for Malfoy.

No matter how hard she had tried, Hermione could not make herself stop hating Draco; not just for what had happened between them, but afterwards. She could never forget the looks he had given her inside Malfoy Manor. As she lay on the floor being tortured by Bellatrix Lestrange, with him watching, Draco had ended it all, made her stop, but only by bringing down the chandelier around them.

That image still haunted Hermione's dreams, the tortured look on his face, but he never came to her. They had their own ways of communication, even back then, but nothing broke her heart more, than when she felt that small connection that they had had sever. It had dissolved into emptiness, and it had consumed Hermione.

Lifting her eyes from the piano Hermione sighed, and bit her lip. "Shall I play it again?" The professor had moved to the stool and was sitting quietly, her arms wrapped around herself. She said nothing; instead she nodded before falling once more into her own thoughts.

Hermione played through a few more times, editing and taking directions, adding lighter notes here, moving longer sections and adding a bridge. By the time the class had finished both witches were pleased with the class.

"Things are not always what they seem are they Hermione?" The question shocked Hermione and it took her a moment to reply.

"Not always, people see only what they want to see, or in certain cases what people allow them to see. Most people are so caught up in their own problems and issues to realize what is really going with those around them. Have you noticed that since the war everyone hides their own pain? They pretend that things are much better than they are," She paused and let out a long , heavy sigh. "It is only those of us who refuse to have no one to hide behind anymore that have the issues. It is we few, we sad, sad few who are unlucky enough to lose everyone and everything that are noticed and chastised for it."

The older woman shook her head. "No, not that, I mean how people can hide secrets, how people can hide who and what they are. Everyone just thought of you as the brain of the trio, but you are so much more than that. You are just a lost child, and despite what you have been through, you just seem to need your friends. Yet even then you have to ask yourself, which are your true friends, and which were just your friends because of Harry." She shook her head sadly.

"I need not ask myself because I already know. When Ron died the truth was revealed to me. I lost everything, everyone when the war ended, but I survive, I keep going. The truth will come out eventually, and they will come out eventually and they will all hate me, or love me for it."

The woman shook her head confused, but before she could ask Hermione what she meant the door opened and the next student came in. With a small wave Hermione left the room, despite the odd conversation with Professor Gregory Hermione felt like she was lighter than she had been in months.

That night at dinner Ginny sat down beside Hermione, much to her chagrin. She held in the exasperated sigh that fought to be released and instead concentrated on her food and the book that was beside her plate. At length, she moved her eyes from her book and severed herself some more ham, potatoes, and a roll; when she turned back to her plate a small note sat on the page folded up.

Hermione,

I hope that you can forgive my foolishness, hatred, and rudeness towards you in the past months. In my mourning I was too blind to see that you did care for Ron, and that it was none of my business what your relationship was with him nor why. I have already spoken to Padma, Lavender, and the rest of the girls, and they will no longer be giving you a hard time. I know this is odd, but Draco Malfoy cornered me in the Library and explained it all to me.

Did you really sleep with him? Is he any good in bed? Harry isn't that great, but I know he will improve in time, or at least I hope. Luna, Lavender and I are going to meet up in the Gryffindor tower, and if you like we can stop by your rooms and grab you.

Owl me back or you can actually sit with us in charms….

I'm sorry

Ginny

When Hermione looked up she was gone, but a small smile was now gracing her lips. This was the Ginny that Hermione knew, and as much as she hated to admit it, Hermione could understand why Ginny felt that way. With two brothers dead, and one severely injured how could Ginny not be hurting, how could the whole family not be hurting? What she wanted to know more than anything was what in the bloody hell Draco fucking Malfoy had told Ginny, and why he had made it his business to do so.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I'm sorry it's been so long since i posted guys. i know there is no real excuse other than I HAVE NO BLOODY INTERNET *sobs uncontrolably then pulls self together and sighs* I should have it back soon and will do my best to post more. Love you all! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own shit, so don't blame me lol**

**Chapter 5: Bang Bang Bang **

It was late when Draco finally came in, it was obvious that he had expected Hermione to be in bed. He hadn't however expected her to be disillusioned and sitting at his desk. Draco walked past her quickly and went up the few steps to his door, after lowering his wards he opened the door and Hermione quickly ran in after him, circling around to the other side of his bed she stood against the wall beside his bathroom door.

Draco pulled off his outer school robe and sat on the end of the bed. She had been successful in not being seen, but she would have to be careful to avoid detection, but suddenly Hermione was unsure if that was what was she wanted. Here in his room with the door closed the Malfoy mask had dropped. Sadness seemed to pour over him, and the arrogant ass seemed to just melt away and what was left was someone who was just as sad and pathetic as Hermione had been. His head now in his hands, Draco seemed like such a small boy, so broken, so lost.

Suddenly feeling as if she was invading something private, like she was somewhere she should not be, but there was no way for Hermione to leave. She let out a low, quick breath before taking a small step forward; Draco lifted his head from his hands, his eyes moved towards Hermione, locking onto her. Hermione knew she was busted at that moment, but he didn't say anything to her. Draco stood, his wand now in hand he flicked it at Hermione removing all traces of her disillusion.

"Why are you here Hermione?" He asked not looking towards her.

"I-er, I um, wanted to be here waiting to ask you why you told Ginny all that you told her. It was never your place to tell anyone anything thing about me." She said softly, although her anger was rising.

"How is it not my place when I was in the relationship just as much as you were? If you could have heard the things that they were saying about you, Hermione! If I didn't tell them what we were and what really happened between you and Weasley, they would have hated you for years. The damage to your reputation would have been irreparable, and despite the now lack of a relationship between us, refuse to allow that to happen," He sighed loudly and walked to the mantle, leaning against it with both palms. "I did nothing more than divulge information to Ginerva Weasley that I thought would not only save you a lot of pain but a great deal of headache on both our parts."

When he turned to look at her Hermione had her arms wrapped around herself; a pregnant silence hung in the air between them. It was full of things that should have been said but words that would never be spoken between them. When finally she spoke, her voice was no more than a whisper.

"If I remember correctly Draco, It was you, and not I that wanted to keep our relationship secret. If I remember correctly you told me it was to save me from your father and Voldermort; you told me multiple times that if we were seen together then you would not be able to save me from what would come. However, if memory serves, when I was tortured by your Aunt you did nothing to save me at all did you?" She didn't scream, she didn't cry, and her voice never rose higher than a loud whisper. Showing that not only was she detached from the situation, but she seemed to not care anymore as well.

"I saved you from more than you know, and I will bear the scars of that night for the rest of my life. My 'betrayal' was not taken lightly by the Dark Lord, nor was it forgiven. I did what I could to save you. Had I outright told them that I loved you, they would have killed you and my entire family for allowing such a thing to happen. Well, probably not Bella, but she and the dark Lord had an odd…. Connection anyway."

Hermione nodded and sighed, knowing full well that he was right. "This cannot continue Draco, you and I both know this. All we are doing is making ourselves miserable, and this is no way for us to live. We cannot undo what has been done, nor can we forgive what has happened. Perhaps we can find a way to be friends though? Put to end our long war and find some way to be happy, if not as friends than acquaintances?"

Draco looked for a moment at a picture of them that graced his mantle. It had been taken by a charmed camera, they sat on a couch from his private rooms; Hermione curled up in Draco's lap asleep and wearing his jumper, and Draco with his eyes half closed and lips pressed to her head. It was during Christmas break of fifth year. He lifted it slowly and tossed the picture (frame and all) into the fire below before sitting on the edge of the bed.

"You will get your wish Granger, but we won't be friends; no, not friends, something different. Will be happy for one another as we move on and marry. Smile politely and ask how the other is doing when we see each other in public, and do our duties and survivors of the war. We will never be friends, Granger, simply because If I see you I will never be able to let you go," and with a flick of her hand Hermione Granger was expelled from the room.

Xoxoxoxoxox

_Will this night ever fucking end? _Hermione asked herself. Never had she ever been involved in anything so damned tedious. Ginny and the girls had come to help her get ready for the ball; they helped her into her dress, helped her with her makeup, and helped her put the tonic into her hair. By the end of it Hermione was ready to scream. Thankfully, when they reached the Great Hall they had all gone their separate ways leaving Hermione to enter on her own.

The dress she wore was Ice blue in color, with silver adorning the strap of the one shoulder gown and a split that went up to her left thigh, transfigured silver jewelry clung to her ears, neck and wrist, but her hair was the most noticeable change. Her wild mane of chestnut brown hair had been tamed into mid-back length curls. They framed her face softly and teased the skin of her back. The back of the gown was almost scandalous leaving almost the entire back open for viewing except for a few small slivers which were covered by strips of fabric, the same light blue, but silver ivy was entwined with it.

She felt a bit like Cinderella to be honest, all dressed up and suddenly everyone was noticing her, talking to her, and she was asked to dance five times before she even reached the wall where she was supposed to stand for her patrols, although her main objective was supposed to be keeping the punch from getting spiked. It was nothing special it was a task she had seen all of her professors do it over her years at Hogwarts, but she never knew it was such a hard task.

Within in the first hour or so Hermione had blocked at least three sets of fourth years, a second year (which shocked her to the roots of her hair), and was handed a goblet of potion laced wine by Blaise Zambini; thank the stars she had learned from the war and sniffed everything that someone have her. Her wand which she had stashed in a garter of her exposed leg had been pulled out and Blaise had gone flying across the room. It had made a group of boys, whom had come to the party pre-partied, uproariously laugh, and Madame Hooch who was deep in her cups at this point fall out of her chair.

Luckily for Hermione, Professor Flitwick had taken over her duty and she was assigned the honor of helping Madame Hooch to her rooms. This seemed like it would be an easy enough task, but before Hermione could cast the simple Moblicorpous on her, Rolanda Hooch made it to her feet and began to dance wildly. Her hips and body were gyrating with the music that was pumping from the charmed speakers. Hermione sighed and did what she could.

Hopping in front of the woman, Hermione began to copy her movements. Thrusting her arse here and there, shaking her chest arms flung high she spun in circle. By the end of the song both women were in a pile of laughter, as were a few bystanders, any by the time that the music started pumping an upbeat song again, Hermione had the older woman already on the moving stair case.

Multiple times Hermione had to stop and adjust how the woman was leaning on her shoulders; she drunkenly sang a song and hummed to herself almost ignoring Hermione's presence. It didn't bother Hermione in the least though, it made the trip much more peaceful. Hermione knew well where Madame Hooch's room's were, it was no true secret for she had parties for the Quidditch teams yearly after the Quidditch cup had been handed out.

Turning left on the fourth floor she took a small side hallway that ended at a large black wooden door, it was then and there that she realized that she didn't know the password to the door.

Fuck.

Sighing to herself Hermione sat the woman on the bench that was nearby and shook her shoulder some attempting to sober up the woman just a little. "Madame Hooch, how can I get you into your rooms?" She repeated the question multiple times and even snapped her fingers in front of the woman's face, but it was useless. She stamped her foot in frustration and pulled her wand from the garter once again and checked to see if Hermione had put up any wards.

Shit. Damn, fuck, fuck, FUCK!

They were extremely complex. Leaning forward Hermione smacked her forehead against the solid wood. Once, twice and a third time before stamping her high-heeled foot once more, groaning loudly as pain shot up her leg.

DAMNIT!

Hermione heard a noise behind her that sounded a bit like a snore, but more like sighing hiccup; turning quickly she saw a now sleeping Rolanda Hooch drooling onto her robes. Placing her head in her hands Hermione groaned and set about undoing the complicated wards. It seemed to be an almost impossible task until an idea came to Hermione.

"DOBBY!," Hermione yelled for the house elf loudly and he appeared to her just moments later.

"Hullo, friend of Harry Potter!" he offered her a small smile but seemed to be a little put out.

"Lovely to see you too Dobby." She said with a roll of her eyes. "I need to get Madame Hooch back into her rooms, but at the moment, she is incapacitated, would you be so kind as to let us in her rooms so I can put her to bed? It seems that she drank most of the wine that Dumbledore gave her tonight."

"Yes. Miss!" Dobby walked to Madame Hooch, and as expected, checked to make sure that it was indeed her before grabbing Hermione and in a blink of an eye they were in her rooms, the woman was in her bed and Dobby had Hermione back in the corridor before, well before you could say Quidditch.

"I brings her tea in the morning." He said solemnly, Hermione only nodded and patted him on the head before moving towards the stair case.

Having been relieved of her duties Hermione decided to not go back to the ball, even though all of her so called friends were there, there was nothing to really keep her or her attentions there. Especially when NEWTs work was calling her name.

Turning to go into the third floor corridor she hear someone calling after her.

"Granger! Oi, Granger wait up!" Sighing Hermione turned to face Draco.

"What is it Draco?" annoyance was clear in her voice but she didn't care, she didn't want to go back to a party full of superficial people, she wanted to go lay on her bed, and study.

"McGonagall sent me to come find you, told me to not let you hide yourself away tonight. I'm supposed to make sure you dance all night and not let you leave the ball. Personally, could care less what you do, but we all must do as we are told, are we not?" He gave that rakish shrug that she loved so very much. "So are you coming, or shall I tell her I couldn't find you?"

Sighing Hermione ran a hand through her hair, and for once it didn't end up caught in a mass of tangles. "I'll come with you, might as well make it seem like we get along, even if we are forced to do so. Although, you don't have to dance with me Draco, I can probably get one of the Gryffindor boys to dance with me. Shaemus has been eyeing me all night anyway...," She stopped abruptly as Draco's laughter filled the air.

"You think I'm going to dance with you? Merlin, no! I was going to Imperio you so you would do it, but I suppose your way would work better wouldn't it?" He shot her a glance then winked at her. "Granger, I'm not going to make you do anything that you don't want to do! However, if you would at least give me one dance, I would appreciate it," He took her hand into his for a moment and squeezed. "For old time's sake?"

She nodded her agreement and they headed back down the stairs, even though Hermione knew she would have gone to bed in the wee hours of the morning, she would have rather studied then lost in Draco's grey eyes. As he held her close Hermione felt herself relax more and more; when the night finally ended Hermione and Draco stood in the middle of the Great Hall, dancing in a small circle still. Professor Flitwick broke their little bubble though and sent them off to bed, off to reality, off to remember what had been, and what would never be again.

When Hermione was finally snuggled deep into her blankets, her door warded, and a muffilato cast she cried. She didn't cry for what she had lost, nor did she cry for she didn't have. Hermione Jean Granger cried for something that she wanted more than anything else in the world but would never be able to call hers.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Sorry its been so long since i have posted guys, I know im horrid. I have just had a ton of things going on and i STILL don't have internet. Ugh its killing me. I ended this chapter kind of weird because well, i could. It was getting long and i didnt want to make it longer by adding yet more angst and oddity with Draco and our lovely Hermione. SO forgive me. Also, I know I need a beta but cannot be bothered with it at the moment since i have no wifi lol. So without futher ado here is chapter 6. R&R, the usual disclaimer crap applies guys. **

**Chapter 6: Don't You Remember?**

After the ball Hermione and Draco settled into a uneasy understanding; which, for the most part worked quite well for them. Hermione helped Draco with a paper that he had a few issues with, and in turn he helped her with her theory paper for her NEWT level Transfiguration class. Hermione had a theory about being able to detect, predict and even accurately change what someone's Animagus and correlating Patronus would be.

Christmas break would soon be upon them, which meant just one thing for Hermione: Shopping in Hogsmead with Ginny. It was one thing for Hermione to hate, and another thing that Ginny loved. A part of their friendship that pushed them together and pulled them apart despite any other feelings of mutual love and respect; Hermione quickly tired and would find a chair and pull a book from some hidden pocket while Ginny tried things on and showed them to Hermione for selection. It could be considered a very trying process, but seeing as Ginny had made such strides in their friendship since Malfoy's little confession Hermione had made it her goal to be happy and attempt to enjoy the trip.

All of the other students were out and about as well and doing their shopping making things even more trying for all parties involved. Hermione spent a good hour in Tomes and Scrolls selecting the perfect books for Molly and Arthur. The former was getting a book on the newest cleaning spells that would complete tasks as fast as a house elf without the actual elf, for Arthur she had picked a manual from the muggle books section that explained the mechanics of a dishwasher. It seemed to be a surprise for Molly for her birthday later that year that he had asked Hermione's advice on.

Fred and George were easy as well, matching stationary sets complete with personalized quills and ink wells, Ginny would receive new robes. Charlie, Bill and Percy all were getting Dragon's hide boots, and Fleur was getting a gift certificate to Madam Malkin's. The former Beauxbaton's student was so persnickety it was hard to shop for her at all; so in a family meeting after the first disaster of a Christmas it was decided that was all she would get and she could decide on what she wanted. It would come in handy as well in the coming months since she was with child.

The only people who remained on her list were a few of her Professors and Draco. Hermione had questioned her sanity at wanting to get the great Git anything at all but when he had questioned her about whether she preferred a necklace or a bracelet she had had to make a decision.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Four hours later a very irritated and frazzled Hermione and Ginny walked back through the Hogwarts front doors. Hermione's hair was a great frizzy mess that she had made into a large knot on the back of her head and secured it with her wand, Ginny wore her hair in a braid and both of their cloths were mussed. In fact, they looked as if they had both had a rather rough night of sleep in their jean and jumpers. All of their lists had been completed though, and Hermione had only spent half of what she had budgeted; mainly due to the large sale she had taken advantage of the sale at Tomes and Scrolls. The store carried a better variety than Flourish and Blotts tended to, for around half the price of the Diagon Alley store. The only problem was that it didn't carry any of the spell books that were required by the school, so it basically was required to go to Diagon Alley and replacing any damaged or lost books via owl was growing more and more expensive each year.

They walked to Hermione and Draco's rooms, where the girls had agreed that both of their gifts should be kept- especially since Ginny's roommates had become more and more nosey as time had progressed, leading up to Lavender Brown being caught reading Ginny's diary aloud to the other girls. Needless to say Lavender was temporarily being house in the Hospital wing, at least until most of the bruises went away. While most would resort to magic for violence, Ginny had grown up with six older brothers, so she had learned a thing or two about fighting, of course this was mainly from Fred and George.

The girls spend three or four hours laughing and joking while they wrapped the presents, added jinx's to Fred and Georges for when they opened them, added bows and charms to others. It was quite fun and good for Hermione to get in some much needed time alone with Ginny. She had felt the loss of her friendship with Ginny most terribly; which was another reason she had gone above and beyond to make things up to her and Luna as well.

Since the Ball Hermione and Draco 's "arrangement", if it could be called thus, had been cold and distant; at the most it had been full of an unspoken tension. Many times he had had Pansy Parkinson, or other girls from their year for Tea, or the occasional Butterbeer; Hermione had done her best to keep quiet and ignore the cooing pair that Pansy and Draco seemed to make. Whenever she came into the room Draco seemed to make a point of pulling Pansy against him, talking sweetly to her. Hermione knew that as soon as she disappeared into her rooms that Draco would let go and stand up, as if to take a turn about the room.

Normally she would have known none of this, but thanks to Pansy and her annoying giggle Hermione felt the need to find out what the hell was going on out there ; so, she placed a very discreat charm that she had learned from Fred and George for spying into another room. It basically showed a window into the next room, but didn't allow the occupants of said room to know that said person was watching. For the most part it was sickeningly sweet how Pansy doted on Draco, always wanting to know what he was thinking rather than sitting and watching the fire like Hermione would.

She almost burst out laughing though after she went into the front room while they were snogging; Draco's head popped up from the couch where they were. His slicked back hair was disheveled, face red and blotchy like it normally was and a cocky smiled graced his lips for a moment before Pansy's arm snaked up and pulled him down for more kisses. She grabbed her Ink and an extra quill that she had gone after before running into her room and collapsing into a bout of laughter, only after a silencing charm had been placed of course.

Draco on the other hand thought that he was losing his mind, the term seemed to be taking forever to come to an end, and he wanted nothing more than to be away from Hermione. Pansy's parents had asked Draco to come visit for the Holidays although he would be going to visit his Aunt Andromeda and Mother on Boxing day; the latter thanks to a Portkey.

XXXXXX SO CLOSE XXXXXX

Draco seemed to be falling further and further into Pansy, although he was not too fond of her and he would wake from his sleep with Hermione and her gown from the Halloween ball still in his head, Draco had to admit to liking Pansy. He always had, that was certain and true, but she had seemed to lose the almost fan girl quality that she held. Maturity would do that to people.

Devoting almost all of his time to studies or Pansy Draco drifted away from Hermione, they only interacted when they were doing their NEWT studies or at the Prefect meetings. The latter being the most often, the Gryffindor Prefects had been seen giving Weasley products to students and then walking them towards Slytherin territory. It had caused a huge scandal of course, as well as the replacement of said Prefects.

Draco's music was growing more and more intense as the year seemed to close, at first they had all been broken hearted ballads that would seem to pull sadness from the very soul of those who listened, he had dubbed this his Dementor phase, but now they were loud, and occasionally upbeat. Professor Gregory had noted the change in this, but as was the Malfoy way he was able to avoid any and all questions that she had posed him.

She had informed him that she was still in the process of attempting to get a recital of sorts set up, but as of the moment things seemed that it would not happen. The class was different from all other Hogwarts classes as well, it was a semester class, meaning it lasted only 18 weeks, with the student being taught on a one-on- one level and meeting multiple times a week, it would allow for minimal students to take it each year, but also left Professor Gregory able to offer students from the Choir private lessons in either voice, or instrument if they wanted.

No matter to Draco though, he still had enough pull from being a Malfoy to ensure it didn't happen, or if it did that no press would be allowed. He knew that sooner or later someone would find out about it. Hermione knew about his voice from her intrusion into his class at the beginning of the year, but Pansy would be able to….

That's it. Draco bolted from his chair, where he had been mindlessly rambling thinking about Pansy, Hermione and his classes. He had figured a way to spin all of this to his advantage. Pansy was the key, all he had to do was sing publicly to Pansy and tell her that the song was meant for her, that all of his music was! It would of course, be a lie. Well, a partial lie; Draco had written a song before the ball that was about her, but he would never admit to that seeing as the song was named Let Her Cry.

Grabbing his jacket from the back of the chair Draco shrunk his things and grabbed the case that currently held his guitar. Draco left his rooms to head to the Slytherin Common room, hoping that Pansy had waited for him for the walk to Hogsmead to meet the train.

XXXXXXXXXX SO CLOSE XXXXXXXXXX

Hermione had given what presents she had to everyone before they left for Christmas break, they had in turn done the same. So it was really no shock for her to wake and not have anything at the foot of the bed, as was the norm when one stayed at Hogwarts; so when she woke on Christmas morning Hermione quickly set into her normal morning rituals. Hot shower first, fret over hair, get dressed, fret over hair, apply make-up, and fret over hair once more before giving up on it and heading to breakfast.

The Great Hall was devoid of really anyone, most electing to go home rather than stay at the school, the few who remained were now like Hermione. They now had no family, or no true home to go to. War did that, made families into orphans, destroyed homes, destroyed what people valued and loved; Hermione was beginning to understand that through humility, and understanding those who fought with you and those who could not fight that happiness could be found. Hermione was by no means blissful, but nor was she horribly out of place like she was.

The tables had all been replaced with a long one, the students sitting with the staff that remained, McGonagall, Professor Gregory, and a few of the others were already sitting down, all of them but one had a paper up in front of them. Students were spread out sitting in their little groups, popping crackers, enjoying the festivities, snow was floating merrily from the ceiling and disappearing just before it landed on the remaining occupants. It was an obvious sign of what the weather was outside.

"A white Christmas, Ronald. You promised to take me sledding this year, but you won't be able to keep your promise will you?" Hermione whispered softly to herself before shaking it off and sitting alone at the end of the table closest to the door.

A Daily Prophet owl brought her paper as always; she paid him and gave him a small piece of her bacon before the owl flew off to rest in the Owlry. Just as she was opening up her paper her brown barn owl came flying into the Great Hall and dropped a large parcel in front of her, and in suite three more followed, but they were smaller packages. They all seemed to be presents as well.

The first package was a sweater from Molly, light lilac with a darker purple H on it. The other gifts were stationary from Luna, a new quill and ink set from Professor McGonagall and a leather holster for her wand from Harry. Hermione smiled as she opened them, knowing that no matter what she still had people who loved her that she would always have friends no matter what came. After eating Hermione sat for a while and read her paper, completely oblivious of the fact that someone was now sitting across from her. Someone across from Hermione cleared their throat pulling her attention from the article about the downfall of Rita Skeeter.

The person across from her was the prefect that Hermione had befriended at the beginning of the year, Lindsay. Smiling softly Hermione folded her paper and poured herself a cup of tea hoping that the girl would tell her what she wanted and be gone. As usual though, she stared at Hermione, playing with her long brown hair, her eyes blank, face devoid of any real emotion. After a while Hermione grew tired of it and sighed loudly.

"What is it you need or want Lindsay? I'm beginning to get a little bit tired of you staring at me constantly." Hermione said with a sneer, reminding herself a bit too much of her former Potion's Master.

Lindsay said nothing at first, obviously taken aback by Hermione's rude comment; after a moment she regained herself though and shook her head. "Never mind, it's not important." Standing stiffly she took a few steps from Hermione before turning around and sighing softly. "Happy Christmas, Hermione." It was a soft whisper that Hermione almost missed.


End file.
